By Anastasia Adaeze
After the stillness of safety comes a softer question, one that lingers in the quiet moments between your routines and responsibilities:
Who truly sees me?
In the last edition, we covered the topic of our need for security as humans. You have secured your ground and stabilised your home, your finances, and your peace. Now, your heart begins to whisper for something deeper, true connections in relationships, and community.
Welcome to the third floor of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs: Love and Belonging.
If the first level, Physiological Needs, was about survival, and the second, Safety Needs, about stability, this third step is about significance – the feeling that your existence matters to someone beyond yourself. Because even the most self-sufficient soul still longs to be understood, accepted, and loved. Some say that what we truly need and call love is a witness to our existence in this life.
The Meaning of Love and Belonging Today
In Maslow’s model, this level includes friendship, intimacy, family, and a sense of connection. But in our modern world, this extends far beyond traditional definitions.
It is the comfort of being emotionally seen, where your presence is not merely tolerated but valued. It is really knowing there is a place, physical or emotional, where you do not have to perform to be liked, accepted and belong. This is not about being surrounded by people; it is about being surrounded by understanding.
Love and belonging are not luxuries; they are nutrients. Without them, even the safest life begins to feel hollow and even shallow.
What Love and Belonging Look Like in Everyday Life
Authentic Relationships:
Connection thrives in honesty. In this generation of social media, where online friends and likes are the most sought-after and gotten, can you really be around those friends and show up as yourself among them? It is very important to choose depth over display and find those who listen when you speak and notice when you go too quiet.
Family by Blood or by Choice:
The great Maya Angelou once said, “Family is not an accident; it’s a choice we make every day.” Family is not just the blood that ties us together; it is the hearts that choose to stay, even when the world tells us otherwise. Sometimes family is given, other times, chosen. Belonging means surrounding yourself with people who celebrate your small wins and hold space for your quiet days. Build your circle intentionally.
Community and Shared Purpose:
When we work together toward a common goal, the individual experiences a sense of contribution, competence, and meaning. Shared purpose lets individuals express their strengths while helping the whole community grow, turning connection into motivation and belonging into collective progress. Humans are wired for connection. Join a group, a faith community, a cause, or a creative space. Shared purpose turns strangers into allies and belonging into identity.
Self-Love as the Foundation:
Self-love is the quiet foundation beneath Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. When we honour our worth, care for our well-being, and accept ourselves with compassion, we strengthen the base of the pyramid, our sense of safety, worthiness, and inner stability. From that grounded place, we become more open to connection. True belonging begins within. The relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other one. Speak to yourself with the same kindness you offer others. You cannot fully receive love if you do not first believe you deserve it.
Healthy Emotional Expression:
When we share our feelings openly and honestly without losing emotional intelligence, we build trust, deepen connection, and create relationships where people feel truly seen. Emotional expression paired with emotional intelligence allows us to communicate with clarity and compassion, fostering communities where belonging isn’t just about being present but about being understood, valued, and safe.
Vulnerability is not weakness; it is courage in motion. Learn to express, not suppress. To say “I miss you”, “I need help”, or even “I’m hurt” without fear of rejection strongly expresses emotional maturity and safety intertwined.
As the year draws to a close, December gently invites us to pause to look back, not with regret, but with recognition. The next step now is to design a Life of Connection.
Reach out: Send that message. Make that call. Reconnect with old friends. Build boundaries, not walls: boundaries protect connection; walls prevent it.
Show up consistently: love grows through presence, not performance.
Join safe spaces: surround yourself with people and environments that align with your values.
Practice gratitude: appreciate the people who make your world gentler.
We have survived, secured, and strived through months of change, challenge, and growth. And now, in this final chapter of the year, what our hearts long for most is not more success or speed. It is time to connect.
December is a mirror of Maslow’s third step, that is, love and belonging in motion.
It is the season of shared tables and open arms, of laughter echoing through homes, of memories made in warmth and togetherness. It reminds us that belonging is not just about who we spend time with, but how we show up – present, grateful, and genuine. In the soft glow of December evenings, we remember that love doesn’t always roar; sometimes it’s found in quiet gestures: a check-in message, a forgiving heart, a moment of stillness beside someone who makes you feel at home.
As the year ends, let your focus shift from doing to being present, being kind, and being connected. Love and belonging are the closing notes of the year’s symphony, tuning our hearts for the renewal that awaits in January.
As 2025 fades into memory, wrap yourself not just in festive lights but in meaningful connections.